my love affair has ended

it all started so long ago. in friends' backyards and in my bathroom lined with roses we would find ourselves together. and oh it was good. through high school and college our bond was strengthened. we had the same friends, we liked to do the same things and go the same places.

then the inevitable happened. we both grew up. i like to think that as i grew i changed and wanted to live a healthier life style. i was sick of waking up coughing. every minor cold i would catch eventually progressed into full blown brochitis. i didn't like the shit coming up from my lungs. and i smelled. so did my car and my clothes. and it was all my lover's fault. my smokey, chemical ridden, lung killing beau. i knew it was time to quit smoking.

but smoking was so good for so long. smoking even managed to snag me a few friends along the way. i just ate, i would smoke. i needed an excuse to leave an awkward situation, a cigarette outside was calling my name. i'm in the car, i must smoke. it was ingrained into my lifestyle so thoroughly it felt like more than a habit, it felt like me. but it was a huge part of my day to day routine that i tried to hide. working at a health conscious medical company it's looked down upon as though it were crack rock i was ingesting daily instead of nicotine.

january 2nd it all came to and end. it's been a whopping four days, 13 hours and 44 minutes since my last drag. i still need to clean out all of the empty packs beneath my driver's seat but that will happen all in good time. zac and i are taking walks, i'm wii'ing until my arm is ready to fall off and i have eaten an exorbitant number of wasabi coated peas but i feel good. i know some of that good feeling is due to the patch i'm wearing but i think a decent portion of my mood can be attributed to a sense of accomplishment. the last time i went five days without a cigarette i was probably 15. i think the hard part for me isn't necessarily breaking the chemical dependency but stopping the intensely ingrained act of smoking. it was fun while it lasted but our relationship had run its course. with no regrets, i'm kicking smoking to the curb. wish me luck.

we're currently moving out of our uninspired one bedroom apartment into the most adorable house in downtown san jose. i'm so absolutely happy about it.

we're taking on a roommate, our good friend devin who has been residing across the courtyard from us at the apartment for the past year or so. this setup allows all three of us to get out of west glen, save money and have our own yard... all at the same time! granted, the yard is the hardest clay i have ever seen in my life but that will be remedied. i need to study up on composting.

the house is beautiful inside and out. the house was built in 1929 and maintains an amazing amount of its original charm... ornate and beautiful archways, a delicately detailed fireplace and mantel and humongous arching windows. then the bathrooms and kitchen have been completely upgraded. i feel like i am bragging. this house is worthy of bragging rights so i don't feel too bad about it.

now i am constantly thinking about draperies and what will really make zac and i's bedroom feel like our own. i'm nearly bursting at the seams waiting for friday when zac and devin rent a truck and move our remaining large items over to the new place. i love coming home to be greeted by the cat who thinks it lives with us and zac putzing around the yard with the hose.

i can't wait for the housewarming.

lake michigan, i'll miss you

oh how i will miss you this weekend, lake michigan. this is the first time in five years that i am missing our annual manistee camping trip. because of this i am deeply saddened. there will be no early morning sand dune drinking or incompetent fire building this weekend for me, no sir. that stuff is for the birds... those awesome birds who i have been doing this with every year since '03. missing things like this is the hardest part about living here.

but something that is awesome about living here? SASQUATCH! that's right. tomorrow in palo alto there is going to be a press conference. they've found a deceased big foot in the hills of northern georgia. they will be presenting dna and photo evidence. if i didn't think it was a total crock of shit, i would totally go.

and by the by, julia child was a wwii spy and cooked like nobody's business. she's my hero.

in memory

two nights ago, zac's uncle mike passed away. i have no idea if anyone will take a moment to check out these photos (or if anyone really reads this blog) but nevertheless i wanted to post them here along with zac's words. he sums up his uncle beautifully:

"thank you all for caring, he really was a great man, he was the city manager of pizmo beach in california, and also of 29 palms, he had two sons, Thane and Jarl. Jarl is joining the marines, and Thane just finished a script for Heart of Darkness. His wife is in mourning, and so is the rest of the family.
i wish you could have all heard him speak, whether it was at my grandfather's funeral or my aunt's wedding, he was magnificent. i don't remember my grandfather's funeral too well, but at my aunts wedding he intertwined his speech with thoughts on the ages of sand. he made people cry, he blew people's minds. he did it all with the gravelly voice of a two pack a day smoker.
i can only hope, that when my life is over, that even one person could feel the admiration of a life well spent that i do of him. he was beyond compare. really. i wish you all could have known him.
rest in peace Michael Swigart. If there is a heaven, i hope you're with your mother and father, and all the people that made up your heritage you sought so hard to define and understand.
thank you."

http://www.flickr.com/photos/swigart/sets/

urban farming is sweet

i remember every morning, waking just a mile or so outside the detroit city limits, leaving the townhouse and heading to work. i'd drive down woodward avenue into one of the most depressed cities in the u.s. crack heads and homeless people wandered into the snowy, city streets completely oblivious to the changing traffic lights on the busy, eight lane avenue. it was ugly. it was dangerous. then i would enter work, say hello to the doorman and step into a lavish old boy's club. the stark contrast hurt my brain trying to comprehend it. during the day, i catered to the every want and need of these mostly white male, suburban mcmansion owners while they played squash and smoked cigars. it wasn't something that made sense to me. these people used the city to pick up a paycheck and party in the oasis-like atmosphere of the club. before nightfall, they disappeared down the freeway into the arms of their safe, loving families and nestled down into their snuggly suburban bed. meanwhile, they worked in a city that they were barely tolerant of and most definitely not willing to invest effort, time, money or love into to make it the beautiful, musical, shining city it once was.

lately, i've been really interested in the urban exploration photography that is floating around on the interwebs. it's amazing - both beautiful and deeply sad. to see something that was once, not even that long ago, so magnificent fall into complete and utter disrepair and abandonment that seemingly no one cares about.

amazingly, detroiters still have some sense of community and urban farming is facilitating that neighborhoody feeling and helping them to put food on the table. urban farming develops community gardens in areas otherwise forgotten or deemed as trash dumps. in detroit alone they have managed to create 500 garden plots. i was so happy to stumble on this article from the BBC this morning. in most news stories out of detroit there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, not even a glimmer of hope. here, we have an inspiring tale of do-gooding and neighborhood pride. in the future, i hope to keep finding more and more stories like this. it helps me reconcile my feelings toward the city. while it may look decrepit and frightening, the people still have the hope and the spirit to strive for a better future, a better life. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

un-r.i.p. tastespotting!!

yay!! tastespotting is back in action. it's a happy time to be alive. go have fun with food!

those fucking french

of course they were behind evolution!

http://www.docstoc.com/docs/860905/How-Creationists-Explain-Evolution---SCARY

man, this is scary.